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 If you don't know, you better ask somebody
1: When an action hero does the slow motion run with two pistols and crisscrosses his arms, firing at bad guys on either side of him. Ah God I love that.
2: When a relatively stoic character finally opens up in front of his girl during a tense exchange, i.e: “Why can’t I come with you?” (Yelling: “Because I don’t want to see you hurt Ok!?”
3: When you’re watching a trailer and there’s a really kick ass song cut into it. See Public Enemies and Black Hawk Down.
4: When an action hero laughs while he’s getting the shit kicked out of him. See every Bruce Willis movie and Mel Gibson in the Lethal Weapon trilogy.
5: When there’s a quick montage of people loading their weapons, preparing for an upcoming gunfight.
6: When, during a gunfight, the hero releases his empty clip nonchalantly, quickly reaches behind him, grabs another clip, and inserts it into his gun. Ah God I love that.
7: When a good guy has been fatally shot and continues to fire at the bad guys. This is usually how the number 2 or 3 in command goes down. See Tom Sizemore in Saving Private Ryan.
8: When a hero, thought to be dead, emerges out of the burning rubble, limping and in slow-mo. This scene is usually cut with the pained look of his love interest.
 Bad guys slowly coming into the screen is an even bigger bro-ner
10: When there’s an absolutely ridiculous CGI effect, like when a wave destroys the Statue of Liberty or someone launches a car into a helicopter.
11: When there’s a hostage situation and the bad guy has a woman – usually an African American bank teller – under his arm and the good guy casually threads the needle and shoots the villain in the dome. This scene, more often than not, comes at the beginning of an action movie. Ah God I love that.
12: When the captain goes down with the ship.
13: When the good guy is having one last word with a fallen comrade and the guy dying says something cool like, “I guess we won’t have that beer” or “I knew I should have stayed home.” Then the good guy pounds the deceased man’s chest violently. Awesome.
14: When the number 2 henchman – always the most dangerous – finally gets his come-uppance. I always hate that guy. See the most recent Fast and Furious. Yes, see it.
15: When one good guy tosses a pistol (or sword) to another good guy during a battle. See Mission Impossible 3 or Hook.
16: When a good guy is being scolded by his superior and, after they’re done and the good guy has been dismissed, he gives one of those defiant ‘Fuck you’ salutes. Cruise has mastered this.
17: When, at the end of a big scene in a sports movie, the hero is being lifted by his teammates and he gives his coach a ‘we did it’ finger point and the coach gives him one back. Ah God I love that.
18: When there’s a training montage. Note: this rule doesn’t apply to Rocky Three. It is not OK to get a bron-ner during this sequence. Especially when they start frolicking in the ocean.
19: When two good guys go back-to-back in order to fight bad guys on either side of them. See Indian Jones and the Last Crusade, the Ninja Turtles Movies, and the three Rush Hours.
20: When there’s a long chase sequence through back alleys and there is a ton of fence climbing. See Point Break, Swat, and Narc.
21: When, after a brief fight between the hero and his inevitable second in command, the good guy extends his hand to the guy he just knocked down and they exchange one of those ‘we’re going to be friends and comrades forever’ looks. See when Gibson first knocks down the big red head in Braveheart and when Costner helps up Little John in Robin Hood.
22: When there’s a long distance sniper shot. See Shooter and Miami Vice.
23: When two guys have their backs against a wall and one goes “cover me.” Ah God I love that.
24: When a good guy is able to get out one final zinger right before he kills the head bad guy. See “get off my plane” in Air Force One.
25: When a good guy says something confidently while he’s in a seemingly can’t win situation and the bad guy laughs only to have the good guy quickly turn the tides and kick his ass: “If you untie my hands right now and let my wife go, I won’t kill you.”
26: When a hero is piloting a vehicle out of something that is exploding and, right when it looks like the flames have engulfed the plane/ship/car, the said vehicle shoots back into screen and out of danger. See Independence Day, Star Trek, any movie set in space really, and G.I Joe.
27: When, right after the hero has saved the day, there’s a quick shot of a command center where a group of officers and generals are applauding and cheering.
28: When a good guy looks up from his recently killed buddy’s body and into the eyes of the killer. And then he goes after him.
29: When the guy that was set up to be a jerk turns out not to be a jerk at all. This happens a lot in sports movies and usually results in a version of the line, “you’re all right kid.” Ice Man is also the ultimate example of this.
30: When, during a sword fight, the good guy gets a little slice on his face, touches it, looks at the blood, and then gets right back into it. Ah God I love that.
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