10 Movies That Sound Cooler than 'Ninja Assassins'
Bill Frat   
Thursday, 15 October 2009

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At the end of November, Warner Brothers will release Ninja Assassins, a highly stylized action flick from the director of V for Vendetta. It is about ninjas that are also assassins. Here are ten titles and synopsises that the Bill Frat Crew thought could possibly sound cooler than the aforementioned pic.

 

Cowboy Pimps: The world’s oldest profession gets an old west makeover when a handful of cowboys start running the New York stables.

 

Die Hardest: John Mclean goes to Iraq. Then he goes to North Korea. Then he goes back in time to Germany. Then he time travels and heads to Canada. We’re watching you Canada.

 

Space Samurai: Samurai warrior battle aliens.

 

Bootlegging Bros: In 2015, the U.S. enters a new age of prohibition. A handful of courageous, no-sleeve-wearing bros start running a speakeasy and transporting beer from campus to campus. Burt Reynolds stars as their spiritual leader that offers sage-like advice.

 

Pirate Rockers: Not only do they board ships and pillage, they play kick ass 

 

Rock and Roll! This is perfect, because they’re already wearing eye make-up and bandannas.

 

Gorilla Warfare: An animated flick, this one follows two rival Gorilla packs that war over territory. Imagine the Polar Bear fight from The Golden Compass, but for two hours.

 

Apocalyptic Apaches: God sends a pack of angelic Apaches to cleanse the Earth of all sinners. Blankets covered in smallpox aren’t stopping these guys. Sorry founder of Amherst.

 

Bank Robbins: Another animated submission, this time we’re following birds that rob banks.

 

Busey: A day (or week, or month, or year – however long we need) in the life of Gary Busy. This is shot in 3D.

 

Halo: I know a movie adaptation of Halo is “in the works,” but I want to see casting and I want to see production stills. I won’t believe it until millions and millions of dollars I sunk into this project. I also want to wear a headset while watching it and trash talk 12 year old Asian kids.

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