This actor is the lead in one of the most anticipated movies of all time. He’s the number two guy in a reboot of a beloved franchise, expected to be one of the biggest hits of the summer. He was just signed on to headline a remake of Clash of the Titans, a big budget remake of the ’81 movie about Perseus’ epic quest for the princess Andromeda. And he’s locked into a starring role in The Debt, a potential 2010 Oscar contender with The Queen’s Helen Mirren concerning a Mossad agent’s four decade long hunt for a Nazi war criminal. Who is this guy? Depp? Pitt? Hanks or Leo? Nope. Try Sam Worthington.

Cameron and Worthington on the set of Avatar, the real-life Aquaman

The second question, and the one that baffles me, is ‘how did he land these four movies?’ Here are my ten best guesses:

10: He has a master agent that has manipulated studio after studio into gambling on a relatively unknown actor. ‘Damon is yesterday’s news. Trust me, take my guy. You’ll be celebrated for having the courage to discover raw talent.’

9: Worthington is the smoothest con man ever and has somehow ended up way over his head. ‘Believe me, I’m huge Down Under. I’m basically the next Hugh Jackman and Kidman…’

8: He fell into some ridiculous dirt on James Cameron. ‘Cast me as the star of Avatar, and convince McG to put me into the new Terminator, and I’ll burn these picture of you in Thailand.’

7: He found a Genie and asked for stardom.

6: Worthington is actually the newest technological creation by Cameron. He’s a terminator. A handsome, foreign terminator.

5: Hollywood was due for a roll of the dice and in typical fashion, when one gamble is made, that action becomes duplicated by everyone else – thus nullifying the risk. Worthington just had the fortune of being the passed around poker chip.  

4: Obama’s behind it. Turns out the president is a die hard of fan of Australian day time television and stumbled upon Sam the Man during an episode of ‘The Surgeon.’ Barack loves a long shot and demanded Worthington get immediate A list status.

3: Sam Worthington is actually Heath Ledger. Heath was tired of his career trajectory and wanted to star anew. ‘Worthington’ is just one huge method acting performance by one of our greatest actors.

2: All right, I’m going to go ‘Wag the Dog’ on you for this one. In that movie, the White House stages a fake military coupe to distract the world from a presidential scandal. So here’s what I think: Hollywood is so terrified of an actor’s strike, that they decided to create the ultimate movie star to save the industry. Bigger than Clooney, Streep, and Pitt combined, Worthington and his movies will make us forget that the business is in total chaos.

1: Worthington is the stimulus package. The three trillion plus dollar proposal became so big and ludicrous that it materialized into human form. The package figured that the best way to save the economy was to become a giant movie star, make wildly successful and entertaining movies, and get everyone spending again. Simple.

What do you think? Is Sam a machine or maybe, just maybe, is he a talented actor that caught a couple well-deserved breaks? Nah. he’s a T4000.

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