The Academy’s announcement that they are extending the best picture category to 10 nominees got us wondering if we could come up with ten Oscar-related changes, adjustments, or additions that would possibly be worse than that one. The following was our best effort.

10: Force the inevitably awkward and foreign winner of the Best Animated Short category to give a fifteen minute acceptance speech.

9: Everyone has a chance. The MLB has a rule that every team in the league must have one representative in the all-star game. What if the Oscars did this with studios? In other words, every studio needed at least one of their movies in the Best Picture category. “And from Rogue Pictures, they’ve submitted Saw VI.” The good news here is that Michael Bay’s production company, Platinum Dunes, would finally be guaranteed some love.

8: An Oscar must be handed out to everyone in the credits of a Best Picture winner. “Fourth assistant to Mr. Day Lewis, the sixth key grip, the pastry advisor, the tailor’s apprentice, security’s chauffeurs…”

7: The Academy introduces the ‘Supporting of the Supporting Actors and Actresses’ awards. These honor the best fourth, fifth, or sixth leads in a movie. You must be in the film for 30 minutes or less to qualify. Brian Cox would absolutely own this category.

6: Sean Penn hosts the ceremonies. Every year.

5: The Academy encourages all Oscar winners to use his or her acceptance speech as a platform for their political beliefs. Republicans everywhere tune out unless Tom Selleck, James Woods, Arnold, Clint Eastwood, or Angie Harmon is up for a statue - or Reagan’s getting the posthumous lifetime achievement award.

4: Every year, in the middle of the Oscars, there’s a 7-10 minute montage of all the performers that have died in the past calendar year. What if the Academy decided to honor the living and had a montage of all the people in Hollywood that DIDN’T die? Much happier, right?

3. The Oscars have three to four judges, a la American Idol, that offer their two cents on every last nominee, from best sound mixing to best picture. I’d hope to God that they’d lock down Burt Reynolds for the Simon role. “Naw. Didn’t like it. Didn’t think he was that good. Sucked, to be honest with ya. Next.”

2: For certain categories, the host would operate the good ol’ fashioned camp director  applause-o-meter. He’d put his arm in the classic L-shape, read the list of nominees, and then let the roar of the crowd determine the winner. Obviously, like all applause-o-meter outcomes in the history of high school talent shows, this one would yield totally corrupt and disputed results. Captivating television though.

1: You open the Best Picture category up to 10 nominees. Wait…